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Career Day
Mysterious giant footprints have been spotted - could this be related to the Phantom of Abel? Cast * Sam Yao * Jody Marsh * Margie Gupta Plot Bluebird Patrol The Ministry want you to check out some giant footprints that have been reported on Rofflenet. As you run, a curious Girl Guide pops out of nowhere. Start Keeping An Eye Out Margie explains that this interview is for her Jobs badge and begins to question you as you run, much to Runner 4’s annoyance. Boy Scouts Sam has picked up the giant footprints on his scanners. Runner 4 is spooked as she notices that one of them has smashed a pavement. They're Closing In You and Runner 4 partake in a McShell maneuver to distract some undead boyscouts, while Margie takes them out with her semi-automatic. Size Doesn't Matter You get the situation under control, but just as you think you’re done for the day, a giant robot looms on the horizon. One Piece Of Advice The robot is in fact a giant construction excavator that has been pimped out by the Girl Guides, and it’s chasing the zombies, not you. Transcript SAM YAO: Raise the gates! siren, gates raising Covering fire! gunshots And go. Runner Four, Runner Five? Got a fairly routine mission for you today. JODY MARSH: Don’t say that! Why do you always say that? JANINE DE LUCA: Routine waste of time, more like. This is not how I wanted to spend my last day on comms. JODY MARSH: Your last day? JANINE DE LUCA: Amelia’s streamlining the operation. It appears my time is better spent elsewhere. In this particular instance, she might have a point. SAM YAO: Haven’t you seen any monster movies, Janine? Ignoring this sort of thing never ever turns out well. JANINE DE LUCA: Oddly enough, I do not rely on monster movies for my defense strategies, Mister Yao. SAM YAO: The Ministry want us to check out any lead, no matter how ridiculous it might sound. They’re even interested in getting us to follow up the Phantom of Abel next week. JANINE DE LUCA: sighs That nonsense! Yes, a few items have gone astray. No, they have not been stolen by a masked figure dressed in an opera cloak! We should never have allowed the amateur dramatics group access to Andrew Lloyd Webber songbooks. SAM YAO: Yeah, no, that one’s definitely ridiculous. But today’s assignment is a little bit less ridiculous. We know Comansys have been able to create some pretty amazing technological stuff. Anyway, better safe than sorry, that’s what I say. Or safe as one can be, in the middle of an apocalypse. Uh, zombies, a real "best not ignore any other impossible things before breakfast" apocalypse, during which we’ve been seeing giant footprints. JODY MARSH: That’s not sounding routine, Sam. What sort of giant footprints? JANINE DE LUCA: The sort of giant footprints reported by unreliable Rofflenet sources. SAM YAO: Hey, hey! Rofflenet is no less reliable than… than… JANINE DE LUCA: Yes? SAM YAO: Well, yeah, let me get back to you on that one. We know Comansys had a biological research division. It’s not completely impossible that giant footprints might have something to do with that. Four, Five? I need you to head north. Wait, what’s that? JODY MARSH: What’s what? SAM YAO: To your right, just coming into view. Yeah, yeah, it’s a - MARGIE GUPTA: Hey there! You, runners! JANINE DE LUCA: Is that your giant monster, Mister Yao? JODY MARSH: Hey, it’s one of those Girl Guides. JANINE DE LUCA: Good grief. SAM YAO: Oh, she shouldn’t be out there alone. Where’s her – oh, what do they call it – her pack? MARGIE GUPTA: Name’s Margie Gupta, Bluebird Patrol. We’re in loose alliance with the Owl and the Pussycats. They told me about you. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions. JODY MARSH: Um, sure. Sam, we can’t leave her here. SAM YAO: Yeah, I think you’d better take her with you. Head towards those old office buildings. That’s where our Rofflenet sources – our highly reliable, utterly trustworthy Rofflenet sources – last saw the prints. Hmm. The coast looks clear, but just in case, you’d better - JODY MARSH: We know, Sam, we know. SAM YAO: - run. footsteps footsteps MARGIE GUPTA: It’s for my jobs badge, see? I have to interview someone with a career of interest. And what’s more interesting than being a runner? Running has tremendous growth potential right now, you know? JANINE DE LUCA: This is not what I meant to happen! JODY MARSH: Okay, but wouldn’t it be easier to interview somebody on base? There’s plenty of people at Abel doing highly critical jobs while staying warm and safe and fed and leaving it to us to risk life and limb on a daily basis for them. You know, that always did bother me a little. MARGIE GUPTA: Already tried Abel. Posey beat me to your radio guys. Kitchen staff said if I wasn’t selling rice krispie squares, we had nothing to discuss! And Janine told me to stop wasting her time and do something useful, like running from zombies. JODY MARSH: Janine told you to risk your life running after us? JANINE DE LUCA: I didn’t mean it literally! I wanted her to go back and rejoin her patrol. Why aren’t you with them, Margie? MARGIE GUPTA: I’ve got furlough from my duties. We’re given a day a week now to work on our own projects. I thought about giving up on Abel and working on my robotics badge instead, but we’re out of batteries. And Jess took all our petrol to work on her auto repair badge. Besides, a Bluebird never gives up! So, I have this list of questions. When did you realize you wanted to be a runner? JODY MARSH: Um, that would be the first time a shambler lumbered after me, moaning and groaning and lusting after my flesh and blood. Yeah, pretty sure it was that. Five? SAM YAO: Guys, I need you to veer toward those high-rises and start keeping an eye out, okay? JODY MARSH: Nothing unusual here, Sam. Just shattered glass, torn rubbish bags, and… oh. MARGIE GUPTA: Oh. JODY MARSH: That does look large, doesn’t it? Even from here? MARGIE GUPTA: So… what did you study at university? MARGIE GUPTA: Did your parents encourage you to be a runner? JODY MARSH: Yeah, sure, until they were eaten by – do you see that, Sam? SAM YAO: Yeah, got it on the scanners. Those look exactly like giant footprints. JANINE DE LUCA: If a foot was square and had only four toes. JODY MARSH: I don’t like this. Look how that step broke right through the pavement there. SAM YAO: Yeah. Hate to say it, guys, but I think you’d better follow those prints. Carefully. JODY MARSH: We’re onto it. Come on, Five. MARGIE GUPTA: Did anyone inspire you to be a runner? Did you have any mentors? JODY MARSH: Being chased inspires me every single day. These prints make no sense. There’s no pattern, they’re just stumbling around. SAM YAO: Great! It’s not just a giant monster, it’s a drunk giant monster. JANINE DE LUCA: I’m still not convinced this is a monster, or anything more than a - SAM YAO: More than what, Janine? What besides something giant and monster-y do you actually think this could be? JANINE DE LUCA: Monster-y isn’t even a proper word. SAM YAO: Oh, well, that’s not the point! The point is – oh no. Group of hostiles to the west, guys. Streaming out of that copy shop, less than a hundred meters on. There’s half a dozen – no, a dozen – oh, no. JODY MARSH: We see them, Sam. Why are they all dressed alike? MARGIE GUPTA: Oh no, not you lot again! JODY MARSH: Wait. You know these zombies? MARGIE GUPTA: Keep trying to get rid of them, but there’s always more. Boy Scouts! groan moan JODY MARSH: Why did it have to be kids? Kid zombies are the worst. MARGIE GUPTA: Jordan says they were on a Boy Scout jamboree when the world went gray. Only their camping trip didn’t go as well as ours did, obviously. We kill them and kill them, but there’s always more. It’s like nettle rash. The more you scratch it, the worse it gets. SAM YAO: There’s more coming in behind you. Going to be hard to outrun! Unless - oh, wait. Over there, you see the high-rises? That’s the perfect place for a McShell maneuver. You know the drill – Five runs north around one building, Four runs south around the other, the zombies thread their way between you down that central corridor. Beat them to the other side and you can take them out one-by-one, easy as pie. JANINE DE LUCA: Said by someone who’s never tried to bake pie. SAM YAO: Oh, like you have! JANINE DE LUCA: My point. JODY MARSH: Guys! It isn’t going to work. There’s three of us, remember? Where’s Margie supposed to go? MARGIE GUPTA: Margie will be running ahead of you down that corridor so she can meet those zombies with her semiautomatic on the other side, obviously. JODY MARSH: Are you sure that’s a good idea? JANINE DE LUCA: Never underestimate a Girl Guide, Four. I was a guide too, you know. SAM YAO: Oh, what? There are badges in crazy survivalist conspiracy theory stuff? JANINE DE LUCA: Runners, tell Miss Gupta that if you all survive this, I’ll answer her Career Day questions. SAM YAO: Yeah. Speaking of that, they’re closing in. MARGIE GUPTA: So now I get to run, right? SAM YAO: Fast as you can, guys. Fast as you can! moan moan SAM YAO: Man, that Girl Guide is fast! She’s already on the other side. Four, Five, better speed up a little. Yeah, that’s it. gunshots MARGIE GUPTA: Take that, you neckerchief-wearing freaks! JODY MARSH: Um, you’re wearing a neckerchief, too. gunshots SAM YAO: Oh, no, guys! More zoms to your east, right behind Margie! They’re fanning out. A McShell’s not going to cover this one. But you’ve got to get them away from her somehow. JODY MARSH: Already onto it, Sam. shouts No more child zombies! You want to chase something, chase us! growl We’re going to die! We’re going to die! SAM YAO: It’s working! They’re veering away from her! Now it’s only your lives in mortal danger. And I don’t like the sound of that. Pick up the pace, guys. gunshots Yes! It looks like Margie’s picked off the rest of the zoms in the corridor. If you keep drawing the others off, she should be able to get safely out of there. MARGIE GUPTA: Hey, runners, wait up! SAM YAO: Unless she decides to follow you, of course. MARGIE GUPTA: That was fun! Do you ever get runner’s block? Like – metallic sound What’s that? SAM YAO: What in the world? That looks like a - JANINE DE LUCA: Giant robot, Mister Yao? SAM YAO: Yeah! Yeah, it looks exactly like a giant robot! If I’d known Comansys were making giant robots, I’d have tried a bit harder at that sponsorship interview. JODY MARSH: Can’t really see what it is through the trees, but it’s so big! SAM YAO: Oh, come on, now, size doesn’t - JANINE DE LUCA: Mister Yao! SAM YAO: Actually, size totally matters when a giant robot – yeah, it’s headed right towards you guys. Run! JODY MARSH: That’s not a robot! It’s an excavator! SAM YAO: A what? Oh, one of those huge construction claw thingies! Yeah, coming into clearer view now. Someone’s pimped that one out. The big lit-up eyes on it. Man, I haven’t seen one of those in ages! Road repair just isn’t much of a priority when you’re busy trying to keep the walking dead at bay. JODY MARSH: It’s not chasing us, Sam. SAM YAO: Yeah, I see that. It’s chasing the zombies. I think the claw thing is on our side! And who’s that girl driving it? She’s bringing that claw down awfully hard; no wonder it’s smashing up chunks of pavement. MARGIE GUPTA: Jess, you greedy weasel! That’s why there was no petrol left for the rest of us! You took it all! What happened to “a Guide helps other people”? JESS: Hey, Margie – watch this! smashes zombies MARGIE GUPTA: Or “a Guide is polite and considerate and a sister to other Guides”? JESS: And this! splatters through zombies SAM YAO: Did you see that? That Girl Guide-powered piece of giant construction awesomeness just crushed that zombie into dust! And the way the claw’s throwing that one into the air! Just look at those Boy Scouts going down, man! There’s badges and neckerchiefs flying everywhere! Almost makes you feel sorry for those kids. Well, if they were still kids and not gray-skinned, flesh-eating fiends. JODY MARSH: If that’s not worth an entire Baden-Powell Challenge right there, I don’t know what is. SAM YAO: The rest of them are running away! Yep, it’s over. Well done, guys. JESS: Right, I’m coming down! footsteps Margie, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t find a car to repair, and this thing takes a lot of fuel. I had no choice! A regular gas-guzzler it is. MARGIE GUPTA: I know, but – sighs what am I saying? That was awesome! Can I get a ride sometime? Try out the bucket? JESS: Sure! A Bluebird always helps others pulverize flesh-eaters into zombie dust! JODY MARSH: That’s not in the version of the Girl Guide Promise I remember. SAM YAO: Oh, look, they’re hugging! Now, this is what I like. A happy, zombie-annihilating ending where no one dies horribly. Well, no one who’s not already dead. Obviously a bit disappointing that it wasn’t a Comansys giant monster slash robot, but on the other hand, it’s good news that Comansys don’t have either giant monsters or giant robots. As far as we know. But at least we know where those footprints – um, claw prints – came from, too. JANINE DE LUCA: I note that where they came from is not any of your fantasies. You might do well to remember that, Mister Yao. SAM YAO: Aw, yeah, like you weren’t fooled for a moment, too. Yeah, I think we’re done here, guys. Come on home. MARGIE GUPTA: Wait, I have more questions, like, do you have any advice for someone who might be considering a future career as a runner? JODY MARSH: Advice for runners? There’s only one piece of advice for runners. MARGIE GUPTA: Yeah? What’s that? JODY MARSH, SAM YAO, and JANINE DE LUCA: Run! footsteps Codex Artefact Ministry of Recovery Note 18 Ministry of Recovery Bulletin 18 Britain’s recovery from the zombie plague continues to make slow but steady progress! We at the Ministry are delighted to announce that we have secured our offices in central London, and that the remaining corpses and zombified citizens have been cleared out of the region of Portland Place, allowing safe access to the shops of Oxford Street for useful technical and other supplies. Regent’s Park remains a no-go area, and the security fencing is still in place. We are now launching outreach to small settlements in the hope of retrieving key personnel who may have fled after Day Zero. Category:Mission Category:Season Three